We drew the curtains this morning to find a rather sinister gang of men dressed in blue uniforms patrolling outside our house (see photograph of just a small proportion of them from our on-the-spot reporter!). Obviously, my first instinct was to grab our pistols and for Moira+me to make a run for it in a sort of Butch Cassidy-Sundance Kid style. Fortunately, we don’t have any guns, so I tentatively emerged out of our front door (without a white handkerchief, I might add) and demanded some sort of explanation from the only man wearing a suit. “You’ve got nuffink to worry about sir… it’s nuffink to do with your property… these boys are from security”. Did he expect me to say “oh good” at this point, I wondered? I queried if the police were aware of their presence. “Well, yes, they’ll probably be along at some stage”. I told the man that if they weren’t, then I’d be phoning the police myself because I thought we were due some kind of explanation. That’s when the man came clean (I put this down to my vast experience of getting naughty children to "own up" at school): apparently there had been a rave in the former bingo hall last night on North Street and the owners (Corals) wanted to ensure the place was empty and that the building “didn’t pose a threat to the general public”. As I write this, the gang of blue have just trudged off down the street. “Steve Broadway, Channel Four News… now back to Jon in the studio”. Oh, how exciting!
abide with me
3 months ago