the pass…

I went to the Watershed last night to see Ben A Williams’s “The Pass” – about an ambitious footballer leading a life of denial. Here’s a very rough synopsis: it tells the story of three nights over 10 years in the life of a Premier League footballer, Jason (quite brilliantly played by Russell Tovey); it’s about fame, celebrity, talent, arrogance and aspiration (I WAS going to write ‘goals’!!)… but it’s also about lies, fortune, excess, image, selfishness, desire (in both senses of the word) and repressed sexuality – within the hyper-masculine and very public world of professional football.
The other principal character is Ade (again, wonderfully played by Arinze Kene) – who, in the first of the ‘three nights’, is sharing a hotel room in with Jason before an important European match… including, out of the blue, sharing a kiss (the film title thus providing a clever double-meaning to ‘making a pass’ in a sexual and footballing sense). The dialogue and acting in this scene are quite brilliant – a combination of pre-match nerves, locker-room banter and teenage nonsense.
By the last of the ‘three nights’, ten years on, Jason is coming to the end of his career, nursing an injury, living off his somewhat fading reputation as a player and seeking to secure one final lucrative deal to end his career (possibly in a new football league in India?). You get the general idea…
It’s a very impressive, tough, powerful film which deals with the stereo-typical ‘more-money-than-sense’ football star image, but also about ego, relationships… and loneliness.
I found it utterly compelling… and yet (perhaps it’s just my unhealthy contempt for rich footballers?), it really wasn’t quite my cup of tea (or even coffee!).

valentine’s day massacre…

Yesterday, for the first time for over 20 years (yes, I know, shameful!), I attended a Villa home game.The opponents were Liverpool and I sat alongside my great mates Steve and Dan Eyre (great mates – even if they’re also Liverpool supporters!)
Well, as anyone who has the remotest interest in football will know, things didn’t go too well for the Villa… This is a slight understatement.
They lost 0-6.
It was their worst ever home defeat in the Premier League.
Liverpool didn’t actually play brilliantly either... they really didn’t need to (they scored six goals from nine shots on target!).
Villa’s performance was extremely painful to watch… embarrassing for all concerned. Lack of skill; lack of passion; lack of leadership; lack of ideas; lack of organisation; lack of talent… and, perhaps not surprisingly, complete and utter lack of confidence.
Villa were pretty much clueless in defence (frequently statuesque). In their current plight, the manager must surely look to the senior players to use their experience and to help and encourage the younger players. In the event, Lescott and, in particular, Richards (both England internationals) had terrible games. Lescott’s positioning was dire throughout the afternoon and Richards just didn’t seem interested in playing at all (and he’s the team captain!)
Villa’s midfield was poor (they failed to support the attack in any numbers and left the defence wide open): Westwood was one of the few players who seemed prepared to battle (but I really question if he’s a premier league player – not for much longer anyway!); Bacuna had an awful game (riddled with errors); ironically, defensive midfielder Gana looked reasonable going forward, but lacked any the cutting edge to counter the opposition’s midfield; Veretout was largely anonymous and never really got involved.
All too often, when Villa DID attack, it involved just one isolated forward. Agbonlahor was ineffective and apparently went off with vertigo (yes!); although Gil was probably Villa’s most skilful player, he again lacked support; the “talented” Sinclair (he came on after 58 minutes) consistently fails to “produce the goods” (but he did hit the post and was Villa’s most effective player - not particularly high praise in the circumstances!).
Villa’s performance yesterday was abject.
They’re clearly going to be relegated this season – on paper, they COULD escape but, in reality, based on this performance, it’s just not going to happen… and, frankly, they don’t deserve to avoid relegation.
People talk of Villa being “too big a club for the Championship” and that they’ll have no problem bouncing straight back up to the Premier League the following season. Frankly, without a wholesale cull of the existing playing staff and new investment, this is just a fairytale.
I’m old enough to remember Villa dropping down from the old First Division to the old Third Division in four seasons (1967-1971)… and, believe me, it was a very tough job clawing their way back to Division One (which they did in 1975).
One might have imagined that the fans would have booed the team off the field at the end (yes, there were SOME boos, but not that many in the circumstances) or to have simply staged a mass walk-out 20 minutes before the end… but no. Instead, the wonderful Holte End supporters ended the game in full voice (constant chanting+clapping)… and bragging to the Liverpool supporters that THEY were making more noise at the end of the game!
Dan+Steve were very magnanimous at the end of the game – almost embarrassed by how easy it had been. In the meantime, I’m expecting a letter from Villa’s Board of Directors asking me not to attend another home game for at least another twenty years!
Photograph: the huge Villa banner being paraded at the Holte End before the game (the “exit” sign, top right, seems somewhat apt in the circumstances!).

villa sign new defender before transfer deadline…

With their 2-3 defeat by Arsenal in the FA Cup, Villa’s season is now well and truly over (apart from the battle to avoid relegation!).
The Villa’s defence seems incapable of keeping clean sheets these days.
But worry not, help is at hand.
In an astute move, with only hours to go before the transfer deadline, Villa have signed Dan Buckley (see photo), a promising young defender – who has already been tipped to play for England!
If only, (although they should keep an eye on him for the future!)…
When Alice+Dave got married, I gave them a junior Villa shirt for one of their future offspring (in the knowledge that Dave would insist on them becoming ManU supporters!). Alice has just sent me these photographs of Dan wearing the aforementioned shirt… the rest, as they say, will be history!!
Photo: Dan Buckley, ace defender.
PS: When A+D got married, David Beckham had just left ManU and so I speculated that, at some stage in the future, the Villa would snap him up (hence the number 23 shirt and the “Becks” name!).

surely, this can’t be right1?: worth

I have a feeling that this blog title might be one that I’ll revisit over the coming months! Please bear with me because I suspect it will take a little time to explain myself….
On Saturday night, I did two rather unusual things (for me). Firstly, I watched some television and, secondly, I stayed up until well past 10.30pm! I hadn’t really intended to do so, but decided to see the start of the Mahler’s Symphony no.2 Prom on BBC2 (my favourite composer) and to see the Simon Bolivar Symphony Orchestra of Venezuela “in action” – I’d heard wonderful things about them after their last Prom performance in 2007. Of course, I ended up watching it to the very end (and became quite emotional in the process!). Their performance was simply mesmerising; absolutely stunning. Although it hardly does justice to the whole piece, you can see/hear the final two minutes or so here. You can also see what the Guardian’s critic made of it by clicking here.
The orchestra, led by its electrifying conductor Gustavo Dudamel, has an average age of just 24. This fantastic orchestra is the flagship of an education system which gives young people the chance to learn an instrument, getting them away from drugs, guns and crime in the barrios. “El Sistema” is a publicly financed voluntary sector music education programme in Venezuela, originally called Social Action for Music; it is a state foundation which watches over the country's 125 youth orchestras and the instrumental training programmes which make them possible. El Sistema has 31 symphony orchestras - but its greatest achievement is the 250,000 children who attend its music schools around the country, 90% of them from poor socio-economic backgrounds. I particularly love its motto: “To Play and to Fight”. For El Sistema’s musicians, this means “undertaking music as a collective experience which also involves individual effort; it entails a relentless pursuit of excellence and, above all, it means persevering until dreams become reality”.
For some reason, I went to bed contrasting this musical experience with the world of football (yes, I know, very strange!).
The orchestra had just played for over 90 minutes. All of its members were stunning musicians in their own right and had rehearsed as a unit to produce a simply magical “team” performance. I don’t know how much they earn for doing this but I don’t imagine it’s mega-money (or anything like it). As just one example, Manchester City FC is a football team awash with several highly-paid “stars”. One of its latest recruits, Sergio Aguero, is a 23 year-old Argentina striker signed recently for £38m. He has a five year contract at a reported weekly wage of £200,000 (that’s just another £52m over the next FIVE years – in other words, an expenditure of just £90million for ONE player!). He will presumably play in most games for 90 minutes; he’s clearly a gifted player technically and he too will have been training with his colleagues in the hope of producing a simply magical individual and “team” performance.
As much as I love sport, I find the contrast of this orchestra and this football player/team worrying in the extreme and just can’t reconcile the massive differences in their respective monetary worth or perceived values. I know people often refer to football as “the beautiful game” but, frankly, after sitting through the orchestra’s sublime performance, I don’t think football – with all its obscene money - comes close by comparison.
Photo: Gustavo Dudamel and Sergio Aguero – contrasting play-makers?
PS: As a complete aside, I’ve just been checking how long it would have taken me to earn the £52million Sergio will be earning over the next FIVE years (taking a conservative view of my old school salary)… the answer is just a LITTLE frightening: 2,849 years – or until the year 4860! I MIGHT not live that long…. Absolutely ridiculous, isn’t it! It's obscene. It's just plain WRONG.

west ham up, villa down?

It was inevitable that Martin O’Neill would be returning to top-flight football; it was just a matter of time. I actually thought he would end up replacing Ferguson at ManU within the next year or so. It now appears that O’Neill will soon be announced as the new West Ham manager (according to the BBC website).
It still hurts that he is longer at the Villa – particularly given how they’ve performed this season without him - and I have a horrible, sneaking feeling that O’Neill will end up helping the Hammers retain their Premiership status… at the expense of a certain Aston Villa. Maybe that’s why he’s taking the job?
I would be enough to make grown men cry (ok, me!).

fabio

I like Fabio.
I think it’s only my inability to speak more than six words of Italian that has held me back from international football management. I’m writing this less than half an hour before the England team starts its over-hyped bid to win the 2010 World Cup. The opponents in the first game are the USA (but you knew that didn’t you?).
But I digress. My co-driver on the school-run, Andy, reckons that Fabio bears an uncanny resemblance to Wally (as in “Where’s Wally?”) and I just wanted to share this with you BEFORE the first match - so that people wouldn’t accuse me of being quick to mock a poor performance!
I think he might have a point.
PS: England should win the match comfortably, but I actually have a sneaky feeling it might end up a 1-1 draw.

MICMACS

Tough choice. Do I watch the whole of the Reading v Villa game on TV or do I go to The Watershed to see Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s “MICMACS” (Moira was at a bread-making workshop!)? I decided on the latter. Jeunet was the director of my favourite film “Amelie”, so I felt I needed to see it. Although it fell a little short of any comparison with “Amelie” (pretty difficult to live up to!), it did have lots of characteristic Jeunet’s touches - and also featured perhaps half a dozen of the Amelie actors too (including the brilliant Dominique Pinon) - and beautiful little visual jokes. The humour was almost slapstick at times and, with all its fantastic invention and imagination, there were moments when it almost felt as if you were watching Wallace+Gromit!
PS: The Villa won despite the fact that they were losing when I set off for the cinema (they only seem to lose if I watch the game!).

we woz robbed....

So, it wasn’t to be…. the Villa team got to the League Cup final at Wembley but fell at the last. Adam and I sat in front of the TV and were initially galvanised into thinking we were going to win after Milner scored from a penalty early on (but mystified that why the United man wasn't sent off). Man U probably edged the game in the end, but it could have gone either way….

Photo: Adam+I, suitably clad, in relaxed mood (BEFORE the game!).

at long last!

Yesterday, my football team beat Man U at Old Trafford. It was their first win there for 26 years. More importantly, it was the first time Villa has beaten the mighty Reds in any game since Alice+Dave got married in 2003! It’s just possible that I might mention the result when they’re down in Bristol this coming weekend!
PS: what was slightly bizarre about yesterday’s premiership footie results was that the ONLY winners were the three teams from the West Midlands (Blues+Wolves also won) – and with the same 1-0 result. Just thought you might like to know that!

looking for eric

I realise that going to the cinema is not the most sensible thing to do on a beautiful sunny afternoon but, believe me, it proved to be WELL worth it! I went to see Ken Loach’s “Looking for Eric” at the Watershed and really, really enjoyed it. It’s about an ailing Manchester postman getting his life back on track with the help of Eric Cantona (yes, Eric Cantona: ManU football legend) and it’s just beautiful. It’s funny (I found myself laughing out loud at various stages), it’s quite tough at times, but it’s also a poignant love story and, according to a review I’ve just read, it’s a “feelgood vigilante film” which (and I know you’ll find this hard to believe) just about sums it up!
Even if football doesn’t interest you at all, you really should see this film.
PS: Coming out of the cinema, the sun was still shining and people were smiling and I even gave the singing guitar player some of my loose change! As I crossed over the swing bridge by the Arnolfini, an old man fell off his bike. He wasn’t badly hurt but a couple of us went to his assistance, someone picked up his bike and others were clearly concerned…. eventually, we got the old man up off the floor and he smiled and said to the gathered throng “Thank you ever so much for all your concern. As you can see, I’m a bit of a learner at this, but it’s really nice that so many of you stopped to check that I was all right”. People beamed back at him and you could almost sense everyone thinking “aaaah, what a nice man!” before going on their respective ways. A very nice moment.
PPS: Also connected another section of roof drainage to the water butt, went along to the Refugee Week entertainment in Queens Square and attended Tim’s entertaining and thought-provoking “service” at foundation (busy day!).

putting one’s body on the line for charity….

The staff played the sixth form in a charity football match at school today.
We beat the students last year 3-0, when I’d refereed the game. This year, it seemed only right that I should take on a pivotal roll in the team formation. I decided to play the Rooney/Gerrard role within the team – filling the hole just behind the central attacker (many apologies to the few of you who haven’t a clue what I’m talking about, but this is important stuff). From here, with my wealth of experience, I would be able to influence things, create goal-scoring chances out of nothing, be able to bring the less confident players into the game and, of course, offer encouragement to the team by my mere presence. I didn’t have time to mentally rehearse my goal celebrations but, hey, it was only for charity!
It was all great fun. The crowd was in very good voice and there were times when the chats of “Broad…waaay, Broad…waaay” rang out across the Astroturf (yes, they REALLY did!). Three of “my” Year 7s later told me that, in their eyes, I was “Man of the Match” (really again!)(I may give them merits). All in all, it was a memorable occasion and perhaps, for some, even life-changing. No doubt, in years to come, people will be telling “I was there” stories.
We lost 0-5.
PS: I should point out that we had 15 players in our squad. This meant that we had to employ a system of rolling substitutions and I was “on the bench” when three of the goals were scored! Will football managers never learn?
PPS: I haven’t got any photos of the game (something to do with sentanta copyright?) so the attached image is from one of our recent practice games.

footie on friday

After a prolonged period of inactivity, the Friday footie team finally got its act together again at the end of school today. The beautiful sunshine managed to attract enough players for six-a-side on the Astroturf. Great fun. We played for well over an hour and there was some pretty good football too. I’m pretty sure we won 19-11 – obviously, my two goals were the highlight of the afternoon.
Photo: Giles, Craig, Chris (coughing!), Dan, Chris, Mark and Andy taking a time-out while we waited for Gordon to retrieve the ball from over the fence (other players, not in the picture, were Pete, Ifi and Pat).

footie after school

I played football after school again yesterday. When I last played, some three weeks ago, I think there were enough players to warrant 7-a-side. Yesterday, I’m afraid there were six of us and so it was just 3-a-side for some 45 minutes – not something that a person of my age is quite accustomed to! It was great fun, if a little tiring (the “oldies” won, of course).
I understand that Sky Sports have bought the footage off the CCTV, so you should be able to watch my goals sometime over the weekend, if you’re lucky.
Photo: the backbone of the staff football team: James, Giles, Ifi (on his haunches), Dan and Mark.
PS: Iris+Ruth were with Moira when I got home and Iris was initially rendered speechless by the sight of my grazed knees, ancient shorts and red football socks…. she’ll get over it (eventually).

penalties

Sorry Gareth, this is another boring football blog!
I was in a conversation the other day about the apparent lack of penalties referees seem to award against the “top” sides when they’re playing at home. Well, thanks to google, I’ve discovered that it’s absolutely true! Over the past ten years in the Premiership, Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal have only “given away” 8 penalties each (ie. less than one a season!)… in fact, in all that time, Man U have only conceded 18 penalties home+away in total (compared, for example, with Villa’s total of 49, including 16 at home).
I’m not saying that referees are scared of the big managers or the home crowds (oh no!), but what are the odds of Villa being awarded a penalty at Chelsea tomorrow?

ole gunnar solskjaer

As some of you will know, I don’t have a particularly high regard for many of today’s football “stars”. Some of them seem to be little more than greedy yobs. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, however, is in a different league.
Later today, Manchester United play Espanyol in a friendly game of no apparent consequence. It will attract over 60,000 fans. It is a testimonial game for Solskjaer, who retired last year due to a knee injury. It will probably raise £2million for him. I can almost hear you say: “It’s alright for some”!
But this man is different. Not only will he be giving all of the money raised to help build 10 schools in Africa with Unicef (Angola, Uganda and Mozambique), but he’s also vowed to make up any shortfall himself! “I went to Angola a few months ago and you could see clearly how much things were needed down there” he said. “It is about changing lives, helping kids get out of the poverty they are in and helping them to become doctors or teachers and able to improve their own communities”.
How amazing. How humbling.

my brother: the new chelsea manager?

We’re off to see my lovely brother Alan and Lesley, Megan+Eleanor this weekend in Birmingham. It might be the last time we see him for a while – he’s currently managing the Portugese national football side in the Euro 2008 tournament before he takes up his new post as Chelsea manager – so life is a little busy for him at present. The media thinks that these teams are being managed by Luiz Felipe Scolari, but I know that it’s actually my brother Alan Neil Broadway!
Keep it to yourself for the time being, so I can get the exclusive interview.
Photo: Luiz Felipe Scolari (left) and Alan Neil Broadway (right)

play-off final

As you might be aware, I’m not a Bristol City football fan!
As a Bristolian, I naturally wanted them to win yesterday and get into the Premiership (albeit just for a year perhaps!). So it was rather painful to be driving back from Oxfordshire along the M4 and to find ourselves amongst hoards of City fans making their sad, forlorn, homeward journeys from Wembley after their side’s 0-1 defeat to Hull.
From my own experiences of Villa-Blues in Birmingham, I am well aware of the competitive nature of local rivalry in these matters, but I wasn’t prepared for the vindictive, obscene and abusive nature of the home-made banners (presumably from Rovers’ “fans”) that adorned the various bridges as we approached Bristol - together with aggressive, gesturing from accompanying youths, celebrating City’s defeat.
I found the whole experience completely sickening. This isn’t what sport is all about!

more football fantasy

The football season has ended and Villa have qualified for the Intertoto Cup (I think that means they need to start palying football matches again at the end June or something rather silly like that!).
The fantasy football season has also finished. As I suggested in February, I am now recognised as one of the up-and-coming managers in this particular aspect of the game….
As I previously reported, ten games into the season, I’d slumped to 630,638th in the UK; since then I’ve edged up to a mere 174,270th. I’m in various leagues and actually WON the Norton Hill league at school for example (ok, there are only 4 of us!) and ended up in 3rd place in another league (out of some 25 teams – but pipped by Colin… although, being a vicar, he did have God in his side or at least by his side!).

I can tell you’re still impressed!

Photo: Villa manager Martin O’Neill (who is rumoured to be interested in utilising Steve Broadway’s wisdom, authority and “can-do” attitude at Villa Park next season).

revd john "latics" simmons

My mate John has just been made chaplain of Oldham Athletic FC!
It’s great news (he’s a huge fan of the club) and he’ll be perfect for the role. With this sort of influence, it might be worth putting a few bob on the “Latics” for promotion next season!
He’s even appeared on OAFC TV – I tried to upload a video but came up against problems (probably not clever enough). So, instead, you’ll just have to make do with this website link.
Photo: from John’s facebook page (note the halo!)

autographs

I came across my old autograph book last weekend – containing football autographs of Division One team players from 1957-1958 (yes, I know…). Lots of famous names including those shown above: Billy Wright, Tom Finney, Stanley Matthews, Jimmy Greaves and Peter McParland (who scored Villa’s winning goal in the FA Cup final that year – the last time they won it!).
PS: clearly, I’m prepared to listen to offers in excess of £10,000 (some 16 teams - but sadly not ManU - plus Miss Jones, my junior school teacher!).