still searching… or not?

Last weekend, Moira and I went along to a retreat at the Carmelite Priory in Oxford. It was hosted by our brilliant friends Ian and Gail Adams and attended by some lovely people (including two of our lovely buddies from our days in Thame). The sun shone. The venue and location were ideal. The format and content of the weekend were perfect – stimulating and thought-provoking, but also providing time for reflection.

But (and you just KNEW there was a “but”, didn’t you!), for me, it quietly underlined that I’m still very much in a spiritual wilderness… and have been for the last two years or so (or should that be ten?).
I’ m very happy and content. I’m thoroughly enjoying my retirement. I lead a very active life and am involved in LOTS of different activities.
I feel VERY fortunate.
But I’m also aware that, these days, my spiritual life is virtually non-existent. I hardly ever “pray” (in a conventional sense) and I don’t read the bible. Although I read a fair number of “religious” books/articles and follow various links via the social media, realistically, I’m aware that I live my life with very little reference to the Christian faith I’ve had for the past 40 years or so.
I’m lazy… I can’t be bothered to pray.
In fact, there are times when I simply don’t see the need for having a faith at all – I’m perfectly ok as I am…
And yet, I also have a strange sense that I’m being told: “yes, it’s fine if you feel like this at present… don’t worry, I’ll stand by you anyway… and, when you’re ready to talk again, I’ll still be here”…
Photo: woodland at Carmelite Priory, Oxford.